Running Thoughts

I have noticed something strange, to me, over the past few weeks.  While I resisted getting up early to run with all my might when Adolfo and I first started running a few months ago, I have come to realize that it is the way I most enjoy it.  I feel less lethargic, and it takes less mental energy for me to get through the whole of my plan for the run. 

This morning, I got out of bed at 5AM.  I know myself well enough to know that if I don't get at least one full cup of coffee in me before, I will never survive a run of more than a mile, no matter what time of day I go, so I knew I would need some time to get myself up and moving.  But the early morning was like magic to me in a way that it never had been before.  It was still dark, that inky black that seems relegated to the minutes before the first vague pink waves of morning come.  Coffee in hand a few minutes later, I headed out to the balcony to check out the weather.  It was so quiet, I could hear the train to Philly stopping at the station a few blocks away from us.  I had NEVER been able to hear that before.  I settled into a chair, and drank the warm coffee, savoring the light breeze, and the blessed coolness that has been so elusive since May.  Slowly the sky started to lighten, and, after my second cup of coffee, I laced up my shoes and headed down the stairs.

Running before the sun comes over the small rise behind our apartment building means that it is still comfortable, even if the day will eventually become unbearable, and it is fascinating to see the world come to life around me.  I saw one other person when I arrived in the park, and a few more as it got lighter, but it was much quieter and more solitary than the afternoons are.  I felt free to play the air drums in time to my music as I went, or break into merengue steps in the middle of the path when the moment struck me.  The light fragrance of the night blooming morning flowers still hung in the air, and the birds were awakening all around the park.  They flew around above me looking for all the world like the fighter jets I had grown so accustomed to in Maryland.  The ducks floated serenely around the pond, enjoying the time before the tyrannical geese arrived.

I ran a faster mile than I have since I started this experience, and I ran further than I usually do.  I walked less, and felt better the whole way.  I felt jubilant when I reached landmark that I knew the distance of.  It was, without question, the best run I have EVER had. 

Summer Haze

Some of the newness of my life here in Jersey has worn off, which is good, because it has left me with this settled, relaxed feeling.  I'm totally in tune with the lazy days of summer now, even if I can't find pleasure in this blistering heat.  Things are well here, we are settled into our apartment, even completing our domestication with a really nice dining room table!  Adolfo has graduated from Cornell, and has finally, I think, realized that he has time now.  I still sometimes notice him looking around thinking that there must be something that he is supposed to be doing, but it passes quickly, with a little self-conscious smile and the relaxing of his shoulders.  All in all, we have completed the transition to being New Jerseyans very well. 

A part of this change has been that I have become a runner!  I'm sure that makes some of you laugh, but its true!  Karyn invited and coaxed me into doing my first 5K in April, and it has wrought a total, and much needed change in me.  I actually look forward to the days when it is not so oppressively hot that I can run outside, and, wonder of wonders!  I actually enjoy it.  OK, well, the actual process of doing the running is still not my favorite thing, I guess, but I feel so great, so accomplished, when I finish that it makes the pain seem trivial.  I'm not at the point yet where I feel that I could run more than a 5K, and I still go a week without running here and there, but its a start.  I do feel the need to sign up for another race, though, to feel like I am working toward a further goal.  Right now, I'm just kind of existing at the same level of achievement I had been at, and I need something to push me a little harder.  I think I will save that for the fall though, as it is heat stroke weather more often than not these days.

In the meantime, we go to the beach!  I have never had the luxury of being close enough to the beach that it can be an afternoon trip.  What a treat that is!  One Friday, we came to work early, and left about 1PM, to go to Long Beach Island, where we spent about 5 or 6 hours on the beach, and had dinner at our favorite shore seafood place. We are planning to go this weekend sometime, and we already have our giant bottle of Pinot Grigio in the fridge waiting for us.  :)

My porch garden has been modestly successful, a fact which makes me very proud.  I have some ideas to make it better next year, but for my first try, it has been really great.  I have gotten probably about 25 cherry tomatoes, with more cropping up all the time.  This week, I had a bounty; I was able to pick 2 jalapeño peppers, 2 cubanelle peppers, and a plum tomato, in addition to my usual handful of cherry tomatoes.  I'm contemplating homemade salsa for the weekend.  :)

Its summertime, and for the first time in awhile, the living really is easy.  <3

Spring is here, ahead of schedule...

For the first time that I can remember, it looks like Spring has arrived before winter is officially over.  I guess its not surprising then that it took me by surprise, but still, I find myself marveling at how fast it came on.  Here is South Jersey, a week ago, we were still firmly rooted in the doldrums of winter, the gray brown pallor over everything.  Some days have brought sunshine and warm temperatures, but they felt like a treat that wasn't to be expected or mistaken for normal, the start of spring.  A couple of week ago, some of the early spring flowers had started to appear, with a few even blooming already, but we were still suspicious of spring.  Then, last Friday, on the drive to work, I noticed some beautiful pink flowering trees!  I think they must be redbuds, as it is far too early for anything else.  Then, this morning, I noticed that the willow trees are starting to sprout leaves, as well as the small bushes that line many of the roads around here.  In one week, we have gone from the monotonous gray of winter to the beginning pinks and bright greens of spring!  And it won't officially be spring for another week!

I am dreaming of dinners out on our porch, and the sweet smell of flowering trees that wafts in through finally open windows.  I guess I am seeing more than many, because I am a little farther south, but I feel like a kid for whom Christmas has come in the middle of summer; surprised and delighted, and a little bit giddy.

And completely useless at work...  I keep getting up to walk over to the windows to see how beautiful it is outside.  Welcome spring!

Domestically Inclined

My life has undergone a dramatic shift in recent weeks...  And no, I'm not just talking about moving, and starting a new job.  I'm talking about a less visceral, sneak up on you kind of priority shift.  I think my new job has allowed me to evaluate my life and make some different decisions about what I value, and what will be the most fulfilling way for me to live my life.  That has meant that I have, almost unknowingly, packaged myself in a different way at work, so that people know that, while I am dedicated to the job and the team that I work for, I am not going to be the kind of person who sacrifices every other aspect of her life for the job, all the time.  I have lived the other way for long enough to know that there is no path for happiness in it. 

So I am working less, and worrying about work less, than I have, ever, in my adult life.  And that's a big statement.  See, that, I think, is really the crux of it.  I am making these decisions as an adult.  I am still the over-ambitious, incredibly enthusiastic person I always was, but I have matured.  My decision make process and motivation have a different focus now.  I am building a life, and a family, and it doesn't have to be all about my career accomplishments anymore. 

Its an interesting way to look at it, and it may sound a little archaic, but I really think that living apart for most of the first year of our engagement has allowed Adolfo and I to look at our relationship in a different way, now that we are living in the same place again.  It feels like we are an adult couple now, not just a young couple playing house, which is the way I felt when we were first living together.  Maybe that's not a good way to describe it, because that makes us sound old and stodgy...  We haven't, I don't think, changed as people, we are just more of a team in life.

A part of this shift in me has appeared, outwardly, in the way I spend my free time.  Where I used to be the type that did little to nothing of the housework for as long as we could stand it, and then had a marathon cleaning session that lasted for all of a weekend afternoon, I am now the type who keeps things picked up most of the time.  Part of it, I'm sure, is the newness of this apartment, and the fact that we just moved in a month ago, but its become something of a priority for me.  What a strange statement to make, right? 

And I'm cooking most every night.  That is something I have really missed, because its hard to find the motivation to make a really nice meal for just one person.  I made homemade meatballs the other night, because Adolfo asked for comfort food.  And I made a pot roast!!  And then, THEN! I turned it into beef stroganoff to use up the leftovers!  How crazy is that?  Adolfo, of course, LOVES this turn of events, because he's no longer eating bachelor food, so its making out little home a very nice place to be.  :)

I find it funny, because if you had asked me five years ago, hell, even one year ago, if I would ever be this person, I would have laughed at you.  I never expected to be this way.  I think I resisted it, because of the feminist in me.  But you know what, I am starting to believe that you really can have it all.  At least until you have kids.  Then, we'll see.  In the meantime, I am enjoying my new way of living, and the place that I live.  And while I have a long way to go to get to my grandmother's "A place for everything, and everything in its place", at least you can come visit any time you want, because I will no longer suffer from Pre-Company Syndrome, a term my mother created for that manic cleaning spree one goes on in the hours before a guest arrives.

Jersey, girls and boys...

Living in New Jersey is an experience, to be sure.  Even the "rural" areas are much more populous than I am used to, and driving is on a whole other level here.  Really, its not that New Jersey drivers are so bad, its just that most of you see their driving taken out of context.  If you drive here for a little while, you'll realize; you have to drive like that, or you'll never get anywhere.

Its funny, because besides the driving, one of the most common complaints people have about Jersey is that the people are so rude.  Which is true.  But here's what you have to understand: yelling at people and insulting them is like the national sport of New Jersey.  People rarely get honestly angry with each other, its mostly just a show.  And to be honest, its probably the best kept secret in the state, but New Jersey-ites are actually really nice people!  Some of the nicest people I have ever met!  I have never had such friendly neighbors, and the people I work with are SO much more polite. 

So don't believe everything you read, kids.  Jersey's not so bad once you start to understand it.  :)

More politics

More diverse, interesting stuff to come, promise!!

First of all, how over the line good old Rush has gone lately? 

Personally, I find the entire discussion over contraceptives to be patently ridiculous anyways.  Not so much the discussion about who should pay for contraceptives, because, maybe surprisingly, I understand (don't agree, but do understand) where some of these arguments are coming from.  But the fact that we are now discussing the availability of birth control in general now?  I can't understand how this is a topic of conversation in this country, at this moment in time.  Seriously people, we have much bigger things to think about, don't we? 

But back to Rush...  I generally have a high tolerance for crap that comes out of this guys mouth, because I know how much trouble he has being a civilised human being, but this steps over the line.  Suggesting that because we (women) use birth control, we are sluts?  Actually calling out one woman in particular, as a prostitute, and suggesting that she should compensate tax payers by posting home-made porn?  This man should have his radio show taken away.  There is no place in this country for ANYONE who makes such inflammatory comments for the sake of what he calls humor.  I don't think anyone found that comment funny, Rush.  One positive thing out of all of this though, is the almost universal recognition that this behavior is completely unacceptable.  Seriously, kudos to the conservatives out there who, despite the press this episode gains for their cause, have publicly come out and condemned their usual pet.  It shows that whether or not we agree on the issue itself, we all have a threshold for common decency.  And that is something that cannot always be said.

I think the fact that this issue (women's reproductive freedoms) has taken over the airwaves so much at this time says something about our political psituation, and I don't think its a good thing.  There is a contest going on right now, to decide who will be the "other guy" in this year's presidential race.  Now, whether you like them, hate them, or don't want to be bothered with any of them, this is important.  We have some serious stuff to deal with here.  And we are focusing on a social issue (that I hold dear to my heart, don't misunderstand) that is not at all urgent.  We can deal with this next year, when maybe the economy will be on its way to a steady and solid recovery, and when maybe we are not on the brink of a war that could consume all of the middle east.  The republicans have the choice of a guy who is trying desperately to be conservative, who has some good economic ideas, and maybe some questionable social ones, and the other guy who really is conservative, but who has no clear, defined economic policy, let alone a plan, and who thinks its more important to make sure that gays cannot get married and that women can be kept barefoot and pregnant for many generations to come.  Not that I at all support Mitt Romney, but how is this even a discussion?  In my opinion, this should be a contest between Mitt Romeny and Ron Paul, because they both have economic ideas that could turn into an actual plan.  We need to turn down some of this noise, and look at what our priorities are, collectively. 

One of those priorities HAS to be middle east policy.  That situation is just getting scary.  I think that it can be recognised as a nearly universal truth that Iran is run by one scary, bat-sh*t crazy lunatic.  This is a situation that we need to address.  And it can't be because Israel (or the U.S.) is twisting the world's proverbial arm to attack attack attack!  I don't pretend to know what the right answer to this is, probably no one does.  But we need to talk about it.  We need to know who's going to do what, and at what point.  If someone (Israel) goes off half cocked, that could land us all in a dire situation.  Maybe I'm being overly fatalistic about this, but I really, honestly believe that if this situation starts a war, it could turn into the biggest one of our generation.  Maybe not World War III, but certainly one that will affect us all for a long time to come.

"Nation", we need to get our SH*T together!

Bullsh*t Blizzard

Caution:  Conservative bashing, republican primary lampooning, liberal post coming!

It seems like disdainful elections posts are starting early this time, right?  Well, I need an outlet for all of the hoopla flying around in my world. 

So my day started out when I headed to a 9am staff meeting.  Now, I still don't know all of my co-workers well yet, and normally, I would have felt compelled to get involved in the conversation I am about to describe, but my relative newness to this group forced me to purse my lips and smile wryly when particularly stupid things were said.  The conversation went something like this:

"Cold winters are still a part of climate change, they happen because as the polar ice melts, air and water currents bring them further south, blah blah blah (good information for the non- environmental specialists among us)."

"I don't believe in all that stuff...  they need to show me some solid science..."  (I stopped listening, because my inner liberal was banging her head against the inside of my skull)

"Solid science????  What more do you need???"  (inner liberal cheers for our team)

"They said 20 years ago that we'd all be under water by now!  They just keep making changes to their theories to keep getting political agendas moved forward...  (Some more ranting I didn't hear)  I can't support asking starving people to go without food to save the planet..."  (inner liberal does cartoon style jaw drop Whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?)

OK, so I know not everyone is well informed about climate change, but how can we STILL be talking about it as if its a figment of some dope smoking hippie's imagination?  And really, in what world would any self serving politician (redundant, I know) make the suggestion that anyone go without food to save Mother Earth?  Then, then!  He even went on to compare climate change science to religion.  What. The. F*ck.  Where am I?

At least this encounter revealed at least one of my new co-workers to be one of "us".

Then, I was doing a little news perusal on my lunch, and I read an article about Rick Santorum's nausea about the concept of separation of church and state...  meh, probably par for the course, right?  Then, a little more reading lead me to the following quotes:

"I'm for separation of church and state: The state has no business telling the church what to do."

"I don't believe in an America where the separation of church and state is absolute.  The idea that the church can have no influence or no involvement in the operation of the state is absolutely antithetical to the objectives and vision of our country."

I can't...  There are not enough words to describe how wrong all of this discussion is.  Clearly, he wants to live in an America where his ideal life is the only right one.

Then, I was subjected to a campaign speech being blasted from the cubicle next to mine.  Ay!  I can't wait till this time next year, and all the fruit loops go back into hibernation.