The color wheel

"When it comes to relationships, maybe we're all in glass houses, and shouldn't throw stones. Because you can never really know. Some people are settling down, some are settling and some people refuse to settle for anything less. Than butterflies..."

I am so happy with my whole life. Everything is going SO well, and I can't ever remember feeling as at peace as I do right now. I feel like I am changing and growing each and every day, but I am not afraid of it. I feel safe, protected. I trust that nothing bad is going to happen to me, and I am content to just enjoy the feelings as they come.

This is better than I ever thought I would have it in life. I always thought that there were only two different types people in the world: Those who live in the extremes, who feel EVERY emotion acutely, and live with the kind of passion that leads to both euphoria and disaster; and those who live life in the grey, those who feel all emotions, but who have a stable, well ordered life, where adversity is handled efficiently and where there isn't time or space for great, consuming emotions. I, of course, had placed myself in the latter group, as, though I have flashes of emotion, I am generally pretty middle of the road, and I rarely see either extreme. There was always a part of me that envied the people in my life who lived in the first group, who were able to feel the incredible, beautiful intensity of each emotion. These people, I always thought, are those who live the wild, surprising lives. People like me could be happy, certainly, and live very satisfying lives, and have amazing, life changing experiences, but it is a very different, tempered kind of life. When I had figured that out about myself, I expected to live my whole life in this muted, softer way, avoiding heartbreak, but giving up the chance to be the fireworks in return for that safety.

That mold of life is completely broken for me now. I have found the euphoric kind of happiness that I never thought I could have. I have found a passion for life that takes my breath away. I have felt a touch of the sadness that balances this intense, focused joy, and it takes my breath away too, but it is still beautiful in a way that I could NEVER have imagined. I have leaped out of the subdued, gentle colors of my past, and into the rainbow, bright and dazzling in its every aspect. And I cannot even imagine going back. I know that there may be intense, crippling downs to match the ups I have found, but it is worth it to feel this intensely pure and simple bliss.

I feel like a painter who has spent all of life painting with sunglasses on, suddenly removing them to view their subjects from the other side. The world exquisite from here.